-- Go bring me a beer and I'll tell you. -- But mommy said you should stop drinking! -- Get yourself an ice-cream too while you bring me that beer. -- Oh, okay!
Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.
In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Best goddamn pilot Saudi Arabia has ever seen
...wondering how they will get across. The first one decides to pray saying "God please make me smart enough to get across this river." so God turns her into a brunette and she swims across the river. The second also prays saying "Dear God, please make me twice as smart as the last girl so I can get across this river." So God turns her into a red head and she builds a boat and rows across the river. The third also prays "Dear God, please make me twice as smart as both of those women combined." So God turns her into a man and she walks across the bridge.
The Jew, business before pleasure.
To prevent Hispanic attacks.
She kept screaming her age.
My name, my address, my phone number...
Dylann Roof is now being questioned by Police after shooting 9 black people dead in one day. Charleston police chief Gregory Mullen said, "He went a little overboard with this unique style of job application, but we'd still like to take him on."
The mediterranean sea.
His Best
A white guy goes into a plastic surgeon and says, "I want to be a black man." The doctor replies, "Alright, but in order to turn you into a black man, I'm going to have to darken your skin by 70%, reduce your brain mass by 30%, and add 4 inches to your penis." The white guy eagerly agrees to this and goes in for the operation. After the operation, the doctor says to the formerly white guy, "I'm so sorry... there was a mix up in your surgery notes. I ended up darkening your skin by only 30%, reducing your brain mass by 70%, and deducting 4 inches off your penis. Is there any way that you could ever forgive me?" The former white guy replies, "Gracias Senor."
Acne waits until you're 12 before it comes on your face
Your mom can't take an offensive joke.
Because there are targets on every corner.
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
None. They can’t change anything.
Because he couldn't keep his Lilly alive.
Along with 500 passengers and an entire jet
the ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
...has never seen footage from 9/11.
You can’t pull her hair while you’re raping her
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According to his parents, he accidentally used the guest shower
Ignored, the attention seeking twat.
His foster family have obviously raised him to be a little prick...
I went to pick her up, and she fell for me instantly. It was a rough start, but after that - we were on a roll.
I remembered something my dad used to say to my mom, so I walked over to her and said, "Get a fucking grip, you stupid bitch."
I texted back, "Ok, see you when you get here!"
They found his head and shoulders behind the couch.
He only cums once a year
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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